Personal & Professional Development

The Truth about Loving Yourself

December 30, 2013
the truth about loving yourself

My daughters and I listen to Disney music during dinner time. Dance parties and loud singing ensue.

The other night, Poor Unfortunate Souls from The Little Mermaid came on.

My four-year-old quickly said, “I don’t like Ursula. She’s a meanie. No one loves her. Only Ursula loves her.”

I started to spiral in my head.

Actually, Billie, even Ursula doesn’t love herself. That’s why she’s such a meanie. 

Was this an opportunity to teach my daughter about self-love and bullies?

By the time I formulated my thoughts, Billie had moved on to the third or fourth topic at the dinner table.

But that moment has made me pause. There are and will be countless teaching opportunities with my girls, and boy how quickly they sneak up on you.

I’ve learned a lot about myself this year – including how to truly, wholeheartedly love myself. And strangely enough, it was this quote that hit home for me.


As a result, I made one of the hardest decisions of my life, but I knew it was the right decision at the time because I felt free and genuinely happy. A decision I knew I should have made sooner, but couldn’t because of inner dialogues about self worth. I have no regrets  as I believe it has strengthened our entire family unit.

As any inspirational, cheesy quote will tell you, loving yourself isn’t easy, but it’s a journey worth taking.  And as I’ve learned in therapy over the years, the journey is about much more than you. 

The truth is, you can learn to love yourself truly and wholeheartedly, but in the end you can still be devoid of love. If you aren’t taught to trust and accept another person’s love, how can you possibly share and grow within your own love for yourself?

While I’m finally able to know my worth. My value. My true passions and priorities.

I’ve learned if I’m unwilling to feel vulnerable. . . to trust the love I’m receiving. Believe it’s real, or accept  that if it isn’t – the worst thing that can happen is I hurt. I feel and I move on. If I’m unwilling to take this risk, to accept, then my self love is in vain.

Until I was forced to examine what I was “taught” about love throughout my life, I wasn’t able to step outside of my head and start feeling instead with my heart.

I will still have that conversation with my daughter – the one about Ursula and meanies and why some people might be unhappy.

But this is the lesson I’m most excited to share with my girls. The one about trust and acceptance. I want them to grow up knowing how deserving they are of the best things in the world because they’re worth it. But I also want them to believe they’re lovable outside of their own hearts.

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